Why do we have so many unmarried women today?

[chewbacca]

I think its mostly a numbers issue. If there are twice as many women as men in church, and we only date other Christians, it means that half of women will stay unmarried.

I was at a university retreat a few years ago when we were bluntly told that due to the men shortage that half of us wouldn't marry, and we should just accept it and get on with life...

Blunt, but unless we can start cloning the men, or get more into church, what else can we do. OK, a person can pray that they will find a hubby, but since there are only enough for 50% of women, others are still going to go without.

[vic-chic]

I think that there are very few true followers of Christ whether you are talking about males or females. In the area we live in, most people go to church. My son once surveyed every kid in his grade all but one said that they were Christians. I told him to go back and ask them what that meant to them. Not one could give him an answer.
Most of what I see at church is people living by a code of ethics. Honestly, I see more men than women that are willing to take a stand and do what God tells them whatever the consequences may be.
Maybe I'm wrong. I'm sure there are a lot more women in church. I'm not sure that there are more women that are Christians. I'm in the middle of raising three boys and when I see how they are treated at church, I wonder why any men ever show up at church. (that's another series of rants )

[Flsprtsgod]

Blunt, but unless we can start cloning the men, or get more into church, what else can we do.

Look somewhere else?

[Kaziglu Bey]

Blunt, but unless we can start cloning the men, or get more into church, what else can we do.

Look somewhere else?

Stepford.

[JadedGuy]

I think that there are very few true followers of Christ whether you are talking about males or females. In the area we live in, most people go to church. My son once surveyed every kid in his grade all but one said that they were Christians. I told him to go back and ask them what that meant to them. Not one could give him an answer.
Most of what I see at church is people living by a code of ethics. Honestly, I see more men than women that are willing to take a stand and do what God tells them whatever the consequences may be.
Maybe I'm wrong. I'm sure there are a lot more women in church. I'm not sure that there are more women that are Christians. I'm in the middle of raising three boys and when I see how they are treated at church, I wonder why any men ever show up at church. (that's another series of rants )

Wow, Vic-Chic,

That's a rather candid acknowledgement. I do not know if there are more devout men than women (or vice versa), but at any rate, yeah I see where you are coming from here. As I told someone at work, there is a lot of religion in our society--so much that you can shovel it. But spirituality is a different matter.

[Kia Ora]

Maybe:
- There are less men following Jesus with all their hearts than there are women
-commitment phobia. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
-Disconnection by role confusion. Women have a widening range of roles while men are hard pushed to understand what they are on the planet for.

Just random thoughts.

[clix]

Women have a widening range of roles while men are hard pushed to understand what they are on the planet for.

I'm curious. Do you mean to say that men are having a difficult time because their role-range is growing narrower, or that there are more things to choose from, leading to more uncertainty?

[clownguy]

IMO,
Most women don't want to get married because they had a poor example of what they should look for in a man. Namely the part of God that is to shine thorough. You look at the romantic comedies that are shown and how men are portrayed in tv. Where are all the good men?

It seems that tv, which has never been a good test of reality, shows men as being idiots, over aggressive, or too nice. My girls love the "princess" types of movies, but these new ones like the Barbie series, show the girls that they really don't need a man in thier lives. I let the girls watch these so they can understand that they can be strong too, there is teamwork done by everyone in the movies and there is not a push on romance or sex. But the guys in these movies are ususally wimps or don't do much. It's the girl power thing.

I hope that I'm rasing my daughters to be self suffecient enough that my relationship and love that I have with my wife will help them to seek out a man like her dad. But that maybe wrong since most men aren't connected with God through Jesus and don't think they need God.

So perhaps it is making sure that the girls know Jesus and God and seek out that in the man. But guys end up being too passive or too agressive and that is not attractive to women. Hey, I know this because I was a geek and a nerd. I had many friends that were girls because I was safe. Now that I'm a bit more dangerous, because I follow Jesus intentionaly, my wife finds me even more attractive than when we were first married.

[vic-chic]

I was thinking today about how girls (including me) have been raised to not need a man. Sometimes we take this so far as to not respect a man's contributions at all. I actually struggle with this issue a lot because I feel like if I admit need, it makes me needy. I was always taught that being independent is supreme. I can see how this type of attitude would contribute to the lack of desire for marriage by both men and women.

Whadda you think?

[rixistential]

I have recently seen a commercial on TV that starts out: "Women today, we want it all!" Then, it goes through an extensive list, which I believe is no exaggeration. And relationships have become more complicated today with higher expectations over what women (and men) want. Not to mention, sexual promiscuity has complicated matters even more.

Therefore, it is this toxic combination of higher expectations while holding nothing in reserve for marriage (men too; high expectations while bringing nothing to the table in return), that has left an epidemic of selfish, frustrated, lonely, and isolated individuals growing old alone ( at least it is part of the reason).

[whynot42]

I have tried to counsel my children whom are young adults to not "need" someone of the opposite gender,to attempt to come to a fairly confident perception of their own identity. Adding that I am very thankful that they "want" to have a relationship w/the opposite gender. Ideally this will lead to marriages where they can enter as confident independent individuals who are able to contribute in a healthy manner to an interdependent team.

[Kia Ora]

Women have a widening range of roles while men are hard pushed to understand what they are on the planet for.

I'm curious. Do you mean to say that men are having a difficult time because their role-range is growing narrower, or that there are more things to choose from, leading to more uncertainty?

Hi, sorry I have taken so long to come back on this. What I mean is that while the accepted role of women has expanded to pretty well everything, the role of men has not been discussed or defined. I would love to see 3 posts on this forum about what the role of men actually is. Bet you can't do it.

[revking]

What I mean is that while the accepted role of women has expanded to pretty well everything, the role of men has not been discussed or defined. I would love to see 3 posts on this forum about what the role of men actually is. Bet you can't do it.

Is that a dare?

[Kia Ora]

And the first post on the actual role of men is....?

[vic-chic]

I've been wondering why we have a movement of "real men do x" where everyone is trying to define what men are supposed to do and there is no parallel real women movement. Women are pretty much allowed any role in society and respected for it. (except being a mom there's not much respect for that)